girl at large

merry f***in' christmas!

Overheard from the hallway of my building earlier this month; gal to guy behind apartment door:

"If I wanted you to put the f***ing Christmas lights there, I would have told you to put the f***ing Christmas lights there!!"

Can you feel the holiday magic?

america on my nerves

New names for the obvious. A sign on the bus uses the term "mobility device" in reference to a wheelchair. When did 'wheelchair' become offensive? Is it not a chair with wheels? Why is that wrong? I'm going to start calling my purse a 'personal object transport device'.

Large hunks of meat under heat lamps, guy in little mutton chop paper hat serving--ah, the classic buffet dinner. Stuffed mushroom anyone?

Puritan priorities run amok. Why is a naked nipple more offensive than mutilation murder? And don't get me started on video games with features like 'first person shooting'. (and these games are running violent ads in prime kiddie-time---which doesn't technically bother me, but show two chicks holding hands while wearing white and you'll start a riot? I don't get it).

Responsible parking. Ok, so this is a good thing. But not nearly as entertaining as seeing a Mini or Smart or Citroen bump it's way back and forth into a non-spot between two poles. Or better yet, between two other cars.

Why the f*** are strangers smiling at me all the time? Do I know you? Oh, right, people are friendly here. Still working on dropping the suspicious 'street face'.

Cross-merchandising. When I go to a deli, I expect to find cheese, sausage, sliced meat, and the like. I don't want to search for my sandwich goods beyond 1,000 square feet of picture frames, glass-jarred pasta no one will ever eat and stacks of scented candles. Scented candles in a deli?? Cheese-scented ones, that I could take, but jeez...stick with the main goods people.

Expensive coffee that doesn't cut it. Hot and wet is the bare minimum requirement; sometimes it misses even that boat, and---HUGE does not make up for crappy. Yes, I swear to god for the fifth time today, like I do every single day, that I do "really only" want the 8 oz latte. Not 12 oz, not 16oz, and god help me I'll never need 32oz of ANYTHING. I really do mean "small". Trust me.

Signs for the stupid. "Do not sit on sharp spikey things" "Do not use these stairs if you have heart condition, diabetes, or other disability" "Do not insert fingers into electric outlet" "Don't cross in front of moving train" "Contents May Be Hot"--and my favorite on this, the update: "May be hot and cause burns"---now we have to explain what hot liquid can do??

Oversized. The grocery store designs, prints, distributes and displays a MAP of each location. Not a city map listing their locations. No. A map (or 'plan') of the interior of each individual store should you have trouble locating the milk (which you will, because it is hidden behind 8 rows of scented candles). Shit is just so big.

employed girl

I got the job!

More to come as the exact details of the position have to be worked out with the bosses after the holidays, but I'll be starting just after the first of the year, and it's in furniture/interior design/retail management--go figure.

Happy Birthday a moi, et H.

The 5am birthday (international) phone call. Gee, thanks for thinking of me---but maybe next time, think of the time zones???? ha ha.

Oh well, it's my birthday! Woo-hoo! (and H.'s too, woo-hoo!)

woo hoo!

Each year around this time, I start to think of my new motto for the next year. (Thanks, Aunt Maria--still a great idea 15 years later).

I got by with the same one for the last two years: "It's all a blank canvas" (runner up: 'Doin' it frenchie style').

This topic comes to mind because of the following, sent by a friend:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
 safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in
sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used
up and totally worn out, screaming "WOO HOO! What a ride!"

Love that. "Woo Hoo!" might just make a perfect motto for 2005.
     

more pros than cons (especially once I get that sun lamp)

view from balcony, note "Volvo" sign---I'm never lost with a beacon like that.

a few of the things I like about Portland:
-open knit (or crochet) night at Lint, the yarn store for hipsters (but why the cliques ladies?)
-riding the Max train for free for more than a week, until I realized that the tickets need to be validated. oops.
-the Driftwood Room
-walks in nearby Washington Park (it looks very 'X Files')
-the abundance of sausage
-an amazing Goodwill Thrift Shop that never fails to have exactly what I'm missing/needing for a buck. (dangerously located just across the street)
-cheesy public events (beer fest, christmas tree lighting) in Pioneer Courthouse Square
-Noah's Arf grooming and playdates at Lexi Dog, off-leash hours at the parks---generally, it's a very dog-friendly town
- H.

family tradition=another way to get more stuff

I forgot about St. Nick's Day yesterday. Though putting a Hershey bar and some colored pencils in your own shoes seems a bit sad.

Wonder what Stella got? You did remember, right Mom?

two different kinds of cold

The adjustment to the early sunset and general darkness is tough--I have to make a real effort to get out and about early to catch any sunshine in the mornings--what little there is, it's all gone by 4:30!  but the locals tell me that the long daylight hours in the summertime (sunset as late as 9:30-ish) make it worthwhile.   Like most northern cold-weather cities/towns---the outside might suck, but it has great interiors--lots to do, lots of cool places. And very, very friendly folks.

Strangers keep talking to me. After two years of frenchie chilliness, something as simple as the bag boy at the grocery store chatting me up can freak me out. Even a conversation about the weather (uh, yeah--that's not boring or anything--let's guess, cold and rainy or rainy and cold?) can catch me off guard: "What? You're talking to me? What for? What do you want, really?" (imagine frenchie "street face' cold glare).

I've got to lose that or I might not make any more new friends. Though the ones I have made so far are stellar. Who needs more?

visit to the middle

Miss Ruby enjoying the affections of Grandpa Bunny.

Things are much the same in Edgar, Nebraska as I recall from childhood---"the" school is still standing, the jello still wiggles, and coolwhip containers are just as handy as ever. bless.

I blame the pending 14-hour drive day for the poor quality of the only shot of me, Grandma Eileen and Grandpa Bunny's chin all together:

the square states

at last, images from my cross-country journey. enjoy. lots of square state stuff. corn. road. sky.
more to come later.