girl at large

change of season

It's started. The rain. Good thing I have my colorful Marimekko umbrella or I wouldn't be able to face the day. The gray, rainy, depressing day.

How much Ikea can you fit in a Jag?

I rented a car yesterday to make the trip up to Seattle for an Ikea run. I know, not a good idea on a Saturday--the punters were out in full force for the Swedish meatballs, but it's a rare weekend off and I need more bookshelves (too much Powell's).

I had reserved a standard mid-size, in hopes of getting something with ok gas mileage and folding back seats. They had one on the lot, only the previous renter had failed to put the keys in the night drop box. So I was bumped up, free of charge, to...get this, a Jag! ha ha!

As it turns out, you CAN fit a heck of alot in the back of a Jag. Which is a good thing, because I found much more than I had planned on getting, of course.

Now, where's my allen wrench?

p.s. A note on the car itself; I'm never very impressed when a high-end version of anything is recreated in a lower-end version. When you start at the top and cheap out, the results usually disappoint (as opposed to starting with little and seeing how much you can create, which I greatly admire--a la Ikea now that I think of it).

The X-type Jag is no exception--aside from the pretty front end (that you can't see when parking!), it's a bummer of a design. The interior is anything but intuitive--I had to refer to the manual THREE times during the trip to locate and understand controls (cruise control, the gas cap release, the back seat fold down mechanism). Despite a dozen adjustment levers, the seat design also left my behind and back aching--for long trips, lack of lumbar support is a serious flaw that no amount of leather can cure.

And on the road? Speedy, but slushy. What good is pep if you can't control it? The steering wheel behaved like an pretty accessory, not a tool. On curves at highway speeds, it felt like the entire chassis was sliding out from under me. Not good.

I wonder what the 70 year-old lady in the fish bowl next to me had in her handbag.

My boss said something the other day that I will add to my list of favorite sayings:

"You've done a great job wallpapering the bedroom closet, but the fire that started in the kitchen is now in the living room".

It's a perfect analogy for the retail business--keep your head down too long on a piddly project, and you miss the bigger picture (usually sales). It also applies to my experience at the Portland Airport Security Checkpoint.

I had a metal card-holder in my back pocket (especially when traveling, I like to keep one credit card and form of ID in my purse, another set in my pocket--if a thief gets one, at least I have the other). I had forgotten about it when emptying my person of metal goods before walking through x-ray. I had removed my earrings, necklace, coat, shoes, even my belt. These security checks are humbling enough, does the container for my personal belongings really have to be a dog dish? Don't get me started.

So, the machine beeps at my card holder. I immediately realize my oversight and pull it out, "Oh, here, it's this, I forgot, so sorry." Not good enough.

I'm pulled aside into the clear-glass paneled exam area (the 'fish bowl'), told to stand with my feet apart on the diagram (designed for 6ft tall men) and then patted down by Attila. She didn't even want to look at the offending object. It was tossed aside, along with my passport (!) and ticket, onto a chair in plain view and easy reach of anyone still lingering at the exit of the security area--which was a lot of people. Putting on their shoes and buckling their pants. Out of context, it looked like the last five minutes of an orgy.

I don't mind being hand-scanned. I can spread my legs and open out my arms wide. I don't mind being cooperative. I do, however, mind the loud running commentary: "I'm going to touch your breasts now, How's that underwire working for ya?, Ok, free government back rub!" Free government backrub? Excuse me? No one can bear to hear lame attempts at funny when being stared at by fifty strangers, held in an akward physical position and fondled by a government agent in an ill-fitting uniform. Could we perhaps do this with some dignity??

After another few humiliating moments, I was allowed to proceed. Which meant making my way back through the fray to pick up my belongings (out of the school desk tray and dog dish). My coat, shoes, and purse had not been further inspected, I was free to go.

In my purse? A lighter, a crochet hook and thread scissors. All contraband.

overnight guest

My little girl spent this past long weekend with a friend while I was in Chicago. Everyone hopes their charges are on their best behavior in someone else's home. Ruby is usually well-behaved, if you know the commands and how to make them stick (firm voice, say it only once and mean it).

Within the first hour she had peed on the other dog's bed (a territorial thing). The next day she barfed on the other person's bed! How embarrassing. Then, she gutted Squirrel, the other dog's beloved toy. And ignored her own previously favored Snake. Ruby, how could you shame me in this way?

As her caretaker said, "Well, if she wasn't so cute she wouldn't get away with it!"

getting cranky

I'm one of those people who lives life quite happily without a cell phone. I'm also turning into one of those people who becomes frustrated, annoyed and generally cranky when surrounded by folks chatting, yelling, shouting, babbling into their tiny cell phones.

On the return flight, as we taxied to the gate on arrival, seat belt light still on, the passengers behind me and to my right and to my left all made cell phone calls. The tires weren't even cool yet. If it were up to me, cell phone use on planes would be banned altogether. Isn't it bad enough that we are all packed in there together in the same stale air for umpteen hours? Do I really have to listen to your one-sided, shouting conversation?

On the same topic, overhearing cell phone conversations is not only annoying, it can be downright alarming. Overheard in Chicago:
"Well, all I'm saying is I don't want you to do anything crazy like get a gun and shoot someone."

in flight

Downtown Chicago

Things I learned on this journey:

1) If you do it your 'self', it's not 'service'.
2) Always, always travel in cashmere.
3) Cell phone use on planes taxing to the gate should be banned.
4) My mattress sucks.
5) No one greets better than a dog.

..leavin' on a jet plane...

I fly out first thing in the morning! woo-hoo!

...visit before the snow flies....

Only three days until I'm off to Chicago!

hello world

Dan and Angel's lovely baby girl, Alyssa Marie, born the Friday before last.

Left Behind

This photo broke my heart tonight.

So many resources denied to the people who needed them most, and the suffering continues. We should be ashamed. And angry. And we should do something.

Please donate to the Red Cross.