girl at large

Preparing for Winter

Before/After

The chilly rains have begun, and dinner is now eaten in darkness. Time to get the fireplace ready for another long winter! The hearth tile has always bothered me--dingy, dirty and peach colored-yuck! What started as a simple project to paint the tile turned into a major re-do of the entire fireplace surround. Thank you to the helpful folks at Ace Hardware for walking me through the process--sanding, oil based primer, two coats of floor paint. And voila! A handsome (and clean!) change.

102nd Thing To Do Whilst Not Smoking

I had given Mom a small set of drawers to use during her stay. Today, as I fidget for more to do, I tackled emptying them out so they can be moved to storage. Here's what I had to triage; some items destined for the trash, others to Goodwill, and if I can locate her particular Greek isle, to send back to her aboard Daste:

-package of Hammond's Old Fashioned Peppermint Sticks
-6 magazines and catalogs
-half pack of Extra Winterfresh gum
-bottle of MucinexDM
-Mission Impossible II DVD
-piece of Japanese printed silk fabric
-one black sock
-two bras
-one pair undies
-half pack of Kleenex
-temporary wrap-on sunglass thingies from the eye doctor's visit
-a pair of gloves
-one brown sock
-one black sock that does not match the other black sock
-one airline travel pack (sleep mask, toothbrush, toothpaste, socks)
-Tea Tree Oil spot stick
-tweezers
-Portland walking map
-wood-handled back brush
-3 euros, twenty US cents

Did I mention this is a small set of drawers? (very small--only 12" wide, 14" deep, 26" high) Oh, mom.

Sunny Sunday Morning

Crazy for Crumble

I've been making a real effort to cook myself a proper dinner every evening, especially after Mom was here this winter and we enjoyed so many good meals together.

It's difficult, though, to cook for one. And I hate leftovers. After a few months of making Dinner Solo, I've worked out a few ingenious solutions such as:

Big Bag of Crumble!

The Pacific Northwest grows an abundant array of fruit, especially berries, and they are all coming into season. I love dessert, and who doesn't love the classic Apple Crisp, or Rhubarb Crumble? The Singles Solution, for a fresh fruit dessert every night--

I've made up a big batch of Crumble/Crisp topping (flour, brown and white sugars, cinnamon, chopped walnuts, oats) and keep it in a big plastic ziplock in the fridge. Each night, I top an individual-sized ramekin of fresh fruit with the topping, pop it in the oven while I eat dinner, and Voila!

So far, I've done the traditional Apple, Rhubarb Strawberry, Rhubarb Blueberry--and my new favorite tonight--Plums and Raspberries, delicious!

Making Peace with Plants

Before, the balcony was a wasteland of plant corpses and empty thrift store containers...yuck.

But, now! I finally turned to an expert for help, and JJ managed to work magic. Big, matching architectural planters--Golden Bamboo in tall floor planters at the end wall for some screening and lovely sound, and troughs of Kate-resistant succulents on the ledge. She and her assistant took care of everything--the design plan, the ordering, brought it all over and did all the planting and set up. Love it! She swears I can't kill these unless I really try. Keep your fingers crossed!

Crunch. Crunch. Crunch.

I've given in, I've succombed to the hippy-dippy, sandal-wearing life-style such as it is out here on the Granola Coast.

After two weeks of agony, my boss finally convinced me to see his Chiropractor. The magic words were "It's covered on our health plan". Ok, for free, I'll try anything. To be able to move again, I'll try anything.

My back problems are the result of too many years of moving furniture, a general disconnect with how to use my body, and oodles of stress--I'm a stress-holder-inner. It oozes its way out in muscle cramps, swollen joints, and debilitating back strains. How can a chiropractor help me? Unless he knows how to track a mis-labeled blanket-wrap shipment, direct five phone calls a minute, design and deliver a furnished model unit on a zero budget in one day, correct the books and manage a surly staff, then it didn't look likely.

Turns out, he's a miracle worker. I am converted. Once a week now, I go for an 'adjustment'. There's nervous chit-chat, followed by some awkward massaging and touching, and finally, a good-old back cracking snap. It's all over in less than 20 minutes.

Sounds like a date.

Imagine how good I'd feel if I actually had sex?

No One In My Family Will Play With Me Anymore.

Best Scrabble word this week: QUIETED for 116 points.
Most interesting Scrabble word this week: WHIRLED for 83 points.

Yes, I am a loser. But not at Scrabble!!

Bachelor Aid

Tom adjusts to the new location of 'his spot'. Ruby stands guard.

Before

After

Tom's new place is great, big and light and roomy. All the family pitched in to send him furnishings--from Grandpa's prints to Mom's rug to John and Molly's redo of the chairs to Aunt Peg's couch, table and bed. He worked on Friday, so I spent most of the day cleaning, organizing and arranging furniture...sounds so familiar. Was I on a break or still at work? I have a problem--even 1000 miles away, I still want to put things in their right place.

Favorite conversation with my brother (aside from The Lightbulb Story):
Tom: sniff, sniff "Did you wash my sheets or something?"
Me: "Yes, I washed your sheets, the toss pillows covers..even your duvet cover."
Tom: "You can wash those?"

Did we not grow up the same house? At least I was spared the Easy Mac--he had that for lunch when I was out enjoying my time in LA...by visiting a furniture factory.

Now Taking Dinner Reservations

Mom was right, this area needed a dining table and chairs, and the curtains make all the difference. Warm and cozy, with a city view.

Things I haven't blogged about because Law and Order was on:

-I farted once (once!) during Mom's visit, she of the Frequent Gaseous Outburst, and she outed me in public. "Did you just fart?!" (loud, pointed tone of voice on public transport).

-I reluctantly now have The Cable. It took me three days to figure out how to turn it on after Mom left, but now, I must admit, I might kinda sorta...ok, I love it.

-I have a new rug in the den. Mary Grace sent it to me at Mom's request--it was one from the big house in Fondy. As I recall, it was the "make out rug", soft and cozy and strategically placed behind the sofa and near the french doors to the back exit. It looks great, really makes the room. Like a little shrine--"Here lies the spot where I last saw action, all those decades ago..."

-I might start a Midwest social group of some sort..I've received a far amount of interest, but need one more push to really do it...The Corn-fed Social Club. What do ya think, hey?

-We found oodles of Mom's old recipes--some quite dated, with ingredient lists that contain only items in packages and cans for example. "One can cream of mushroom soup, one package cream cheese..." So, Mom made Betty's Beef, the recipe that just won't die. Somewhere, in India, a hungry child is asking what's for dinner; "Betty's Beef". Somewhere in Iceland, a fisherman is opening a packet of Liptons Onion Soup Mix...

Brighter Whites Christmas

I dropped Mom off at the airport at 6am this morning, drove home through quiet dark streets...and happily went to work righting all the small wrongs in the house. Let's just say Mom and I have different domestic styles.

In short order, the kitchen counter was clear of clutter, the magazines were in tidy piles, the coffee table free of debris. I finished the vacumming and the last load of laundry in time to watch the fat snowflakes fall... and melt away. It was a white Christmas afternoon.

And a quiet one. Tonight, tidy is starting to look a bit like lonely.

You don't even want to know.

"Who ever gets f###ed first, wins."

Haven't We Discussed This Before?

Mom: I picked up your dog's doodle today.
Me: "Doodle?"
Mom: Yes, her, you know...doodle.

A woman who rates her farts at night from the other room ("That was a TEN! Did you hear that one Kate?") has to use a euphamism for the dog's business?

Turkey Coma

Last Minute

Today's last minute grocery list:

-Ant traps
-Booze
-Flowers
-Spray Bottle
-Vinegar
-Fire Starters

That's exactly the list Mom gave me. Sounds like a Holiday with the Adams Family.

It's the little things.

Mom: I just want you to know I picked up your dog's poop today. (grossed-out face, tongue sticking out).
Me: You walked her? That's great, thanks. Wait, haven't you always picked up after her?
Mom: No, I never told you that. I always left it, acted like I didn't see her doing it. It was France, no body cares.
Me: Well, this is Oregon, you have to pick up!
Mom: I know, so I did. It's in your kitchen garbage.
Me: What??! (grossed-out face, tongue sticking out)

Welcome! (I think).

Mom has arrived! In less than 24 hours she managed to:

-comment on the size of my breasts, the shape of my eyebrows and the 'cuteness' level of my butt.
-find the only dusty spot in the house. Who wipes down the top of the refrigerator?
-use more toilet paper than is allotted the average Ukranian village in a month.
-spread debris through out my previously tidy house, including balled-up kleenex, empty cigarette packages, boating magazines, gloves, and what looks like a personal support garment.
-insult my television. Can appliances have hurt feelings?
-wear a red "Wisconsin" sweatshirt, momentarily throwing me back into 1991.
-out-crass the crassest person I know.
-make dinner of an unidentifiable meat package left in my freezer since move in day.

Oh Mom, so glad to have you here!

Spruced Up

Before/After

The house is nearly complete, the spiffing up as far as it's going to get before the family arrives. The spare room got the biggest make over...

Still didn't manage to make that much room in the closets, and the storage space is overflowing...nothing worse than having the extra room to store stuff I no longer need...I wonder what is in those boxes way in the back anyway?

Before/After

Before/After

holiday countdown

Only a week left until M-Day, when Mom arrives to spend Nov, Dec, and part of Jan with me. In my rush to get the house spiffed up, I've neglected to consider the number of people coming for Thanksgiving, expecting to enjoy a hearty holiday meal, and not expecting to sit on the ground to do it. There will be 5 1/2 of us (including my 3 year old niece, the half in that number) and my little kitchen table barely seats 4 for grilled cheese.

I also just remembered that my brother will be bunking here, and if he's to sleep on the couch, I'm short a blanket. BYOB?

It was suggested that Mom and I bunk together, giving Tom the single bed in the study. But that's just not happening. I pre-paid a pedicure appointment for Mom so I don't have to give her a foot rub (sticking her feet in my face, 'here, rub my feet'. Sure mom, but can I finish my Wheaties first?), I'm surely not going to let her crawl into bed with me. I love Mom, but she farts. And then giggles. And then asks if I can smell it.

I'm sure they are all here to see me and enjoy the warm company of family, but in my heart I know they will leave thinking "Can you believe all the dining chairs didn't match?", "I see she didn't get the curtain rods hung in time, her life must be a mess" and "Who serves pumpkin pie indian style on the floor?"

House Work

before/after the painting

I'm just pretending that my building isn't up for sale, and that I can continue to live here for as long as I like...it's wonderful to have reasons to spruce the place up. With all the family coming for Thanksgiving, it's imperative to get the 'spare room' transformed into a proper study pronto. So far, so good--painted, bookshelves built, old junk moved out, even hung the newly framed print:

Negligent Homicide?

I kill plants. I try, I really try to have a green thumb. I purchase lush specimens of nature all through the short summer, only to watch them wither and die. I'm so ashamed of my frequent slayings, that I dispose of the corpses early in the morning, loading the fragile skeletons into my car and putting them in the dumpster at the grocery store. (Rather than clog up my buildings only average sized trash can).

In my house cleaning blitz, in preparation for a cozy winter and holiday visitors, I went out to the balcony this morning to inspect the damage--it's like a slaughterhouse for green leafies, the horror!

I think I might just get a half dozen small evergreens, those are easy to keep alive, right?

ps. The only plant that defies my special talent is a....Geranium. I HATE Geraniums. I only got this one by mistake, it came in a mixed planting pot, and only became truly visible after the others had died of course. This little stinker won't give it up, it keeps clinging to life even though I actively encourage it to go to the other side.

Winter of Kate

Well, no one else is going to do it! This is what the voice in my head said back to me when I was complaining of feeling run down, looking terrible--and, most of all, having no one to take care of me. "Well, no one else is going to take care of you!".

So, that's it. It's up to me. I officially declare this the Winter of Kate. I'm going to be selfish. I'm going to do outrageous things like make myself a proper dinner, and actually spend my days off away from work. Imagine!

Project 1: I hate my wardrobe. I had 10 outfits when I lived in France, by neccessity and poverty. And I liked them all, and I looked pretty cute. I have 100 times the articles of clothing now, and I hate them all; nothing fits right, everything feels cheap and nasty. So, no more impulse buying at Target, no more disposable clothes. I pitched and pitched, and edited fiercely. Didn't fit right? Out it went. Didn't make it through the last wash? Out. Of course, no clothing was harmed in this process, it all went to Goodwill.

I'm piece by piece, meticuously recreating a wardrobe that looks good, feels good, takes up only one closet and lasts seasons longer. It's going to be spendy, but considering how much dough I've wasted on things that I'm now off-loading, it may save me in the long run. It's certainly going to save my spirit.

Starting at the foundation, I spent two hours in the lingerie department of Nordstrom last week. Most of that time was in a tiny cubicle with a 4' 11' gal hoisting up my gals. The only bras I've ever owned that did the job, looked prettier than military issue and lasted more than 3 months were a treat from Mom in France (see the "comme Diva" story) and I was determined to find more. Nordstrom had 'em, and Michelle, my tiny dressing room companion, made sure I got 'em.

With the improved scaffolding in place, complete with touches of lace, I feel like a new woman already.

This week:hosiery, slimmers, pj's, robe and slippers.

Settling in for the long winter's nap...

Fall arrived this week, with burning trees, brittle wind and puddles in the road. And with it, the drive to nest. I recently had three of my grandfather's prints framed --here is one, above my new bedroom settee. The new bookshelves arrive on Wednesday, and the list of 'to do's' goes on...

Under Foot

I've admired this hand woven rug since my first days at the shop--it's very finely woven, wool and I just love it. A colorless Rothko. Now that it's mine, I can't help but notice how it seems I chose my furniture with this rug in mind all the while.

It was in the warehouse clearance sale, and I had to have it. The boss man and I worked out a deal (my new motto--"Don't Ask, Don't Get"). And I deserved it, I work like a dog. The dog, by the way, thinks I brought home this cozy lounge pad just for her.

Beheaded

Outside my bathroom window, across the narrow drive, is my favorite seasonal display: a Maple tree, a hydrangea, and a holly bush.

I open my bathroom shower window every morning--the steam rushing out, and spend a quiet moment (sometimes the only one in the day), looking at my own personal flora calendar. In Autumn, the maple is on fire with reds and oranges. In gloomy winter, the red holly berries are a cheery natural holiday decoration. And throughout spring and summer, the blue hydrangea blossoms are gorgeous in the dapples morning light. Ok, overly romanticized, yes, but I love that view.

A few days ago, I happened to be home, and heard two someones rustling through the leaves and undergrowth---and talking to each other--"Mom, that's a big no-no. Come on, let's go"..
when I looked out the window a moment later, the hydrangeas were gone!

Three big, blue flowers snipped off and stolen! The saddest part, they left one sad lonely little bloom. It looks so pathetic.

home improvements, cont'd

The new kitchen curtains are sewn and hung, today is the day to tackle the spare bedroom...summer shineshine is finally here. Just in time to work on the balcony too.

It's so suburban.

I rarely have Saturdays off, but I've had a string of them now. Not my favorite day to have off, as the rest of universe does too and the mob at the grocery store is frightening. Tuesday afternoons are so pleasant for running errands; parking is plentiful and helpful clerks abundant.

But I'm making the best of it today by completing projects around the house. So far, I have hung fuschias, used a cable tie to fix the flushing-thingy of the toilet, replaced the cracked toilet seat, washed the toss pillow covers, the mattress pad and the shower curtain, mounted wall shelves, and now I'm off to get a pipe cutter.

Just think if you were here Kristin--you could be organizing my closets. Woo-hoo!

Home Improvements

I took on another home improvement project this past weekend---painting the bedroom. It's Devine Paints Storm, a deep charcoaly-turquoisey-blue. In some light it's almost navy, othertimes deep green, in morning light it's turquoise. The color; exactly the same shade the mountains in the distance appear at dusk from the living room window, also compliments the rosewood and teak beautifully, and it feels rich and soothing. It's a good thing the bedroom has a relaxing atmosphere now, because painting it has made my bersitus throb.

My landlord said it was ok to paint, under two conditions--A) that I don't paint the ceiling (I didn't) and B) that I don't use a very dark color (I did). I bought a gallon cream colored paint to cover it all up when/if I move, to put his mind at ease should he see the color and freak out.

The new curtains go up as soon as I can find an inside-mount pole 10' long. The list of other to-do's in this room include:
-ordering a bed (how can someone in the business NOT find a bed she likes???!? What's taken me so long?)
-getting a rug
-mounting the curtain rod and curtains
-finding the right vintage mirror for above the dresser
-keeping the closet organized and not succumbing to my usual 'ball them up on the floor' method of clothes storage

Projects

At last, I got around to putting this Marimekko fabric on stretchers. It's been languishing in the trunk of my car for nearly a year, until I could find stretchers long enough--it's a single repeat of 50" x 90"! I love this print, it reminds me of the birch trees in Door County and the vibrant colors cheer me up without being garish. Of course, it did none of these things behind the bottle of window washer fluid. Now, it looks great in the spare room (come November to be known as "Mom's Room"), and is inspiring me to get moving on my other home improvement projects. The spare room is still a mess--the bookshelves are all wrong, and it needs a rug and a twin bed, and a side chair, and shades, and....but I'm going to tackle my own bedroom first.

I see that you see me.

Standing in the kitchen yesterday morning, coffee cup steaming, I was getting used to the idea of being awake when I noticed that the neighbors had tightly closed the aluminum blind in their window across from my kitchen. Anyone in a rental knows that these ubiqui-hideous blinds can be closed to varying degrees--sorta slated down for anti-glare, almost shut for privacy--and completely closed, twist the plastic wand til it almost snaps off.

I wondered why they would do that, that window is usually unshaded, and the sunshine on that side of our respective buildings is so very warm, pleasant and as always, rare. Then I realized that I had been standing there, groggily reflecting for five entire minutes and well...nearly as bare as my own window. Oh.

Portrait

This sibling portrait arrived with the skaters painting--the frame needs replacing, but the faces are the same. It looks good above the fireplace, but it's strange to see us looking back at me. On occasion, walking by it quickly, I get the eery feeling that I'm in the old house, that it's 1989 and I'm grounded.

Skaters

Mom had this painting sent to me last week (thanks Uncle Bill). It hung for years in our entry hallway in Fondy, then in Mom's apartment on Diversey, then at Grandma Mickey's while Mom's been abroad. I'll be lucky if the plant next to it will last a fraction of that time. I've always loved this painting, feel very luck to have it in my home. I should know more about it ---anyone know the story?

It looks fantastic in the living room, I could look at it for hours. It's starting to feel like a permanent home here, one little piece at a time.

Excuses, excuses, excusezzzzz......

I have become a lazy bastard, addicted to the comforts of a couch and fireplace. The room containing these luxuries does not contain the computer. My new couch arrived in December, just in time for dark nights that begin at 4pm and the launch of a new local tv station that airs Seinfeld twice each week night. Two different episodes.

It started with the fireplace. It started with having one--I never before have had a working fireplace. The dog presses herself up to the screen, risking bodily flammage to be as physically close to the warmth as possible, and snoozes for hours, days on end. I have learned to watch how the dog lives her life and follow her lead--she doesn't have stress zits or sleepless nights or an unidentified rash or hormone rage.

First the cord of wood, then came the couch. A couch may seem a triffling thing, but I have been without a proper one for five years. I didn't know I was suffering. I had Mom's cozy lounge chair, the armless cubes and for some time now my beloved new retro-armchairs. I had forgotten about the couch's dirtly little secret---sitting down, I am faced with all that luxurious space next to me. A leg sneaks up, then the other. Shortly, I am prone.

And then I am asleep.

I don't have time to blog, I am drooling on my toss pillow.

home and hearth

A roaring fire, NetFlix and a new batch of yarn, what could make a winter day better?

The First

Happy Holidays!

Merry Christmas!

Christmas circa 1990 (?)

Well, we blew it this year! Next year, we're all getting together, we better! We had such a good time together in Portland (though missing Peg, Ryan and Stella) last year...despite having Christmas in the Shoebox Apartment. This year, I have all this space and even the picturesque hearth....and no visiting family for the holiday! sniff sniff

Lighting My Own Fire

The skies opened up this week, the leaves are mush on the ground and winter is setting in...time to see if the fireplace works! Not as hardy as my neighbor with a stack of cord wood in her parking spot, I opted for the girly DuraFlame log-in-a-package, and yes, I updgraded to the "Crackle" model, complete with life-like crackling fire sounds.

And I love it! A few hours of crocheting in the armchair, feet up in front of the fire, poking at it with an old curtain rod (insert Christmas gift hint here: fireplace tool ) and a dog asleep at my feet...who doesn't love this time of year? Can you see the burning embers, can you smell the singed dog?

bigtime nesting (text)

see pics below...

Two new additions to the household, now that I have so much more house to hold things: a tambour-door cabinet and a large glass-topped coffee table. The coffee table wasn't what I imagined getting (that's another story, about the burl-wood beauty that got away)...it's bigger than I would have thought the room could take, and I usually feel that glass is too cold (and always dusty!). But, as you can see, I was wrong on both counts. The glass makes it visually lighter than its size suggests, and the oiled-teakwood base warms it up. And I love it.

The cabinet, well, that cabinet! Gorgeous finger joints on the tops and sides, solid all way round, deeply colored finish, and the two tambour doors---who doesn't adore tambour!?!??!

bigtime nesting

upstairs, downstairs

I can picture them, waiting, watching the clock...at exactly 9:01am, flip the switch...and my Sunday morning sleep-in is over, bam! She is one of the upstairs neighbors, the switch belongs to what I can only imagine is an industrial vacuum with the optional 'maximum sound' attachment. Imagine a Harley running on hardwoods over your head. Exactly one hour before you want to wake up on your day off. Slumber to seething in 60 seconds.

What I don't get is, why start in the bedroom? Why vacuum the hardwoods? Every Sunday, it's the same thing--start in the bedroom, vacuuming hardwoods at 9am. Never mind that I'm jolted out of peaceful rest...what is she doing scratching up those beautiful floors with a beater bar? And why don't they have an area rug in there?

I'm tempted to put my card under their door....with a special discount on a rug.

10am update: They've just left. Sunday morning schedule: rise early to disturb other residents and then leave house IMMEDIATELY. From my experience with their schedule, they'll be back at exactly 5:01pm. Why not vacuum then?

Summer arrives in August in Oregon.

It's been deliciously warm (even HOT), the rain has stopped and the sunshine is at last generous. It's also Barbeque season. I have a barbeque invite for this evening, planning to bring potato salad...but I can't find any Tas-Tee Salad Dressing!

Certainly, make yourself comfortable, by all means.

Can't decide which is cuter...the new chairs or Ruby! It's all so meant to be...I ordered these chairs two months ago, before I even dreamed of this new place....and they couldn't be a more perfect fit. Even the color is perfect--and I sweated that fabric decision. In my work, it's easy to make decisions for others, but when you know all the possibilities, well, 'the cobblers kids have no shoes' often applies. I couldn't be happier with how they turned out. Ruby, cuddled in one before the second was in place, seems to agree. Glad I could accommodate you, little dog.

New Home Sweet Home

Ruby's new favorite perch, complete with view of birds and squirrels...

Well, we are moved in, at last. Much unpacking remains to be done, but that may take weeks. No hurry, even with boxes and missing implements, this is a more pleasant home by far than the last. It's a very NPR kinda place...quiet, tree-lined dead-end street, pleasant view and nothing that needs WORK. I haven't lived in an apartment this tidy and in such good repair.....ever. (with the exception of Mom's, but that doesn't count).

Last night I found my knives ...life couldn't get any better. Grocery shopping for food that doesn't require cutting of any kind is harder than you might imagine.

Moving Day!

The heat wave continues--will be near 100 today. No air conditioning. The old apartment is on the fourth floor--the elevator is broken. Can it get any better?

brush in hand

I've had keys to the New Digs for a week now, but haven't accomplished much more than leaving an empty wine bottle on the counter. So, today, on my half-day off, I took the first step and chose a paint for the bathroom. I'm leaving the rest of the place (with the exception perhaps of one wall of the bedroom) the creamy white it came in because A) I'm lazy and B) with curved wall transitions, where would the paint stop and start? The entire apartment would have to be painted the same color and who can decide which color? The thought of all that painting..well, it's exhausting and no fun whatsoever.

The bathroom has exactly 5 square feet of paintable wall, the remaining wall surface being all tile. Perfect. This I can handle. I decided on a delicious grey-blue-green called Steamer, from Devine Paint. It looks so tranquil, spa-like...and familiar.

...turn's out it's mom's favorite color. I'll post photos of her Chicago living room later..it's exactly the same shade.

hot hot date

Meg knows me too well...and so knew to bring cheese with the celebratory wine!

more peeks

sneak peek

Is it a cabin on Mt. Hood? Grandma's house? Nope! It's a sneak peek at my groovy new kitchen nook...I -heart- knotty pine.

there are no accidents?

The Dining Table Bowl, pushed aside to accommodate componants of the previously mentioned Granny Blanket in Need of Assembly.

I swear I didn't do this on purpose. Mom, a few years ago: "I don't know how you do it, you're always co-ordinated." It's a gift.

sign spotted today: "Supervisor must be present when customers look at swords."

machine o' my heart

Anyone who has a short-haired shedding dog knows my pain. Dog hair everywhere. Miss Ruby is blessed with both black and white fur; its presence on every surface is my curse.

My trusty Hoover vacuum cleaner, purchased second-hand twelve years from the downtown Main Street vacuum shop in Fond du Lac, Wi for my very first apartment (which was depressingly similiar to my current apt. in light, size and inconveniences), was disappeared from my place in Savannah by the renter. That classic Hoover was upright, pea green and stainless steel and it was old-school--it worked like nothing else. In it's place was left a useless cheap, plastic thing made in Taiwan. Unforgivable.

I've gotten by this past year with an inexpensive Panasonic canister from Target, cute as a bug and just about as useful. So, at last, today I sought out a permanent replacement.

And I found it...a Simplicity 6 Series upright. It's solid, powerful and simply designed without too many gadgets (just the right onboard hose and tool), complete with the menacing-looking headlamp (who doesn't love a headlamp?). Thoughtful details like the on/off switch on the handle and a body that lays completely (completely!) flat for under-bed work complete the package. This is a serious machine. I'm in love.

Ruby, watch out!

Spring Cleaning Project #1

Now that I've invested considerably in a climate-appropriate and work-worthy wardrobe, there's just no excuse for rumpled piles, wire hangers and overloaded drawers. It's time to clean and organize the closet! It's time for Target!

Hmm, seems like a non-life threatening prospect. However, close reading of the labels on my new pants-hangers (20 of them) revealed the following:

"This product contains lead, a chemical known to the State of California to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm."

Kinda took the wind outta my spring cleaning sails.

Today's Humiliation

There oughta be a law:

The toity was not cooperating. After every plunger trick in the book, it was still a no go. It's an old building with questionable pipes, but one can't help feeling deeply, deeply ashamed to call the building manager with this particular problem.

But as the water level neared precipice-spilling levels, I got over it and made the call. Send the "Drain Snake Guy" please. I should have been more specific. "Send an old, ugly and overwieght plumber with poor hygiene please."

Don't, don't, DON'T send the Cutest, Most Charming and Adorable Plumber in the History of Plumbers. How can you flirt with someone who has seen your poop soup?

As Fate would have it.

Remember my Rowenta rave? That very night, while pressing my latest completed project with my new beloved iron...thwat pop!..It blew a fuse! What is it with Germans and power?

After waiting in the darker dark for a few hours, the building manager finally returned home. Fuse-less. (My heavy-duty wonder had MELTED the fuse, a complete replacement required). I was desperate. Come on, we've got 15 minutes til it closes, I'll drive you to the hardware store myself! So, despite the prime real estate parking space, I moved the car to get light (and Imac, and TV and CoffeePot and GermanIron and oh man, how did we get by without electricity?). With great relief, in half an hour, though my primo parking spot was gone, I had all my equipment buzzing and humming with life again.

The next morning, when I drove away from my in-the-boonies parking spot, I went round the block where I had been parked the evening before....to see that a Huge Tree Downed by Wind Storm Destroyed Two Vehicles. !

That iron saved my little car. One German looking out for another.