girl at large

I Blame The Red Wine.

Every year or so, I have just one glass too many and leave my credit card too near the computer and then, magically, I'm enrolled in an online dating site! How did that happen again?

And as always, the photos. Guys, the photos!! Here are a few of my favorite "Don'ts".

-Don't include shots that show you drinking shots.
-On that topic, generally, bar shots are a no-no. And house party pictures? Really? You're 42 and enticing me with a picture of yourself surrounded by dozens of those cheap red plastic beer cups?
-Don't crop out the ex-girlfriend if doing so also eliminates more than 30% of your own head.
-Limit pets to those that are furry, big-eyed and cuddly. No matter how cuddly, limit the number of pets in one photo to two.
-Do not include guns, swords or weaponry of any kind unless it is directly related to your profession (as in policeman, zoo keeper, sword swallower).

Why Torture Me?

I hate getting messages from long lost loves. If you're not going to drop everything, show up at my door and start making babies with me, then for heaven's sake go away and leave me alone!

Sigh.

Where do I live? That's classified.

I have been single for too long. When I had a guest over for dinner last week, I was a wreck. Not with the usual date-jitters, but just by the thought of anyone being in my teeny, tiny apartment. I'm not known for having company over--there's barely room to swing a cat, much less entertain. And I'm hopelessly private about my home.

All day long, five days a week (or more) for nearly fifteen years, I've worked in retail. In retail, you are a captive to the public---anyone can walk in that door and you have to interact with them, no matter how painful that may be. So, as a result, I jealously guard my alone-at-home time. I've told people to go away through the mail slot. All friends know that the drop-by is the worst of sins.

I had a knot in my stomach the entire dinner---and a little voice in the back of my head gritting its teeth and muttering "Get out of my house, get out of my house, get out of my house." Any doubt I have trouble dating??? Poor guy didn't stand a chance.

One thing I've learned this time around is that maybe I haven't been single for too long, perhaps instead I haven't been single long enough. Down in the honesty section of my gut, I actually like it, maybe even prefer it. I'm back on my two-one-bedroom-apartments-with-double-hotelstyle-doors as the perfect domestic situation for me.

Happy Birthday a moi, et H.

The 5am birthday (international) phone call. Gee, thanks for thinking of me---but maybe next time, think of the time zones???? ha ha.

Oh well, it's my birthday! Woo-hoo! (and H.'s too, woo-hoo!)

Starbucks, mass transit, housing... but what about the boys?

hey! i wasn't crazy with this idea! seems someone has compiled a list of the Best Places for Dating.

alarm

wine + sappy movie + ex-boyfriend's email address= big touble. oh boy.

this is a frightening age. i always thought the cliches were just that , cliches---but you just wait unitl you wake up in the middle of the night--"what's that noise?"

tick tock tick tock.

oh, F*&% that's my biological clock.

shut it off! shut it off!!

where to?

now i've got Chicago in mind again ....California, Savannah, Chicago??....there are too many choices and no sure fire way to find out which place is right for me. is rating the replies to singles postings a fair way to judge a city? it's making for some interesting data:

SAVANNAH: these men, no surprise, are either full-fledged rednecks (send picture of pick up truck) or desperately trying to flee the redneck stereotype.

CHICAGO: never before have i seen the phrase "successful man" so much. do you have a willy and balls? there you go, you are successfully a man!

LOS ANGELES: all these guys claim to be tan, buff, tall and athletic. yuck.

SAN FRANCISCO: when did being too busy to have a social (or any) life become sexy? i don't get it. and if everyone really liked the outdoors all that much, we'd all be living in tents.

maybe i'll just enjoy the time i've got left here and throw a dart at a map the week before i leave.

where you goin' sailor?

there's this guy who walks down our street and up through 'dog poop lane' nearly everyday on his way to and from the port---seems it's his favorite shortcut. i've seen him hundreds of times, heard him greet someone in english once--i think he may even be american. but he's been here long enough to adopt that french-style frozen face---no american-style smile and greet on the street with him.

which is a shame. because this guy. is. yum-my.

but wait a minute! two days ago i popped out the front door and there he was again. and i got a relaxed face and a mumbled bonjour! what a development!

and this morning, when i reached out to open the shutters, there he was again, just below. i ducked in of course---no one needs to see me before i've had my shower and coffee. i'm a natural disaster area in the morning.

getting out there, phase two

had my first outing last night as a result of last week's speed dating experience. had a very good time! turns out the fellow's roommate is a gal i'd met when i first arrived and she had a friend in town so we all four went out for drinks and dinner in Antibes. the gal's friend is from Louisianna! ha! small world. the "Fellow" (funny, gracious, charming and sooo gentlemanly) is an airplane pilot--mom's comment as i walked out the door--"Ask him if his landings are smoooooth!" you can imagine the hand gesture. god help any man i bring home.

feeling stuffy, but still a little slutty

the one good thing about having a cold---i went to the singles night (speed dating in English) tonight--and was so stuffed up and high on cold pills that i had no time or consideration to be nervous--and had a seriously good time. and The Sweater didn't let me down--'old reliable'..of course, in my state, i didn't notice til too late that most of the evening one or the other of my boobs was hanging out. ha!
much better stock of boys this time--some of them even could be said to be 'men'!

hmm...wondering what will surface in the 'match' emails to come.....

miracles do happen

i just got a home made birthday card from The Custard. and a birthday email from The Old Man. and a birthday/Christmas package from The RyDog. i've heard of it, it's sometimes in the movies, i've been told it happens; that the (hetersexual) men in your life do occasionally remember these things, but i don't think i've ever really seen it before in real life. well, wonders never cease!

bday resolutions

step one of year 31: Get Out There

action taken: am signed up for local English-speaking singles night this upcoming Wednesday. (hopefully, it will not result in a repeat of last year's disaster date!: "Um, you've got a sandwich crumb in your beard there." "Oh, I'll get it later." Later?!?!....)

preparations: must launder The Sweater pronto.

results: pending

The Custard Then and Now

going through the pics from my trip to Savannah, i've realized that The Custard hasn't really changed a bit in three years, aside from the occassional facial hair experiment and the recent bleach blonde madness. take a look.

cooking up some goodness: that is the exact SAME rooster t-shirt, still extra-extra large. i call it 'the dress'. the kitchen environment has improved, mainly because that's now mine (i am admittedly house proud).

that goofy face: every time someone tries to get a nice shot of us together, he makes that silly face! i have like two decent pic of us out of hundreds. ugh!

the beer: same beer, different day. though it must be said, he's upgraded from only the old school PBR (or Natty Light!) to others, including the occassional rather impressive Guiness.

and i thought surviving the teenagers years with mom was tough

Miss Liz and i are heading out on the town tonight in Cannes..and mom's piece of advice? "Don't wear underwear!". um, right-o.

but what if in your heart, your knickers are in California anyway? sigh.

more chocolate anyone?

no time is so lonely as time-difference time.

go west young man (and chick)

my brother's blog entries have slowed since his move to Hollywood and the big new important job at WoW, but he still has a zinger entry now and again. a Kramer-esque roomie with a new meat slicer? i'm concerned for the kid's safety!

what is it with California? Aunt Anna a few years back went off to San Francisco, then Affable Dan left Savannah for Hollywood, then Thomas deserted Chicago for Hollywood as well, now Miss Kristan leaves Las Vegas behind for the fiance in LA, and of course The Ex, The Boy, The Custard is in LA as well. and Miss Dawn's been wanting to get out there for ages. should we just all hire a bus?

if it's on a spoon and no one sees you, it doesn't count

am pining for boy. have consumed far too much of Burgandy-in-a-Box (can you believe it's appellation controlee?) and all manner of chocolate, including but not limited to: liquid, cake, bar and Nutella-on-a-spoon. when not eating chocolate or fumbling with wine box nozzle, am smoking like cliche chimney (or standard frenchie). congenial roomie Duncan is also pining--for lovely wife patiently waiting in Australia. two romantically frustrated folks in the same household? lucky we have any chocolate and wine left at all!!

and see, then my sister has to email and comment on that picture of me and The Boy, you know, THAT picture. (scroll to 'that's a girl in trouble alright'). and of course, she says: "You have that look you get just before you cry happy tears". and she's dead on, and that's just not fair! damn, damn, damn.

international soap opera

it's rainy and gray (the locals say unusually so, but i suspect the glorious weather mom always raved about is somewhat overstated come winter time), i was spoiled by the temps in Savannah last week. i was spoiled by alot of things in Savannah last week. sigh. double sigh. what's a girl to do?

Jill had Liz and me round for drinks last night after i'd finally got myself back to Cannes..very nice to have a laughy girly chat. (though, surprisingly enough, roomie Duncan is doing very well at providing the same thing, bless him!). when i arrived, both were inspecting the blog, particularly the pics of me and "the dishy boy". Jill is hooked, "better than East Enders" she says. i had to clarify my Blonde Gay Brother entry ('dum-dum-da-dum', Thursday Nov.13). no, my brother is not 1) Gay or 2) Blonde. it's a long story, but Jamie (wedding attendant and friend) back in the day misheard introductions when Chris and i first met him and thought i was making out with my brother. ok, so that was corrected. then, at this most recent event, Chris was newly bleached blonde and arrived with a gay friend--Jamie didn't recognize him and thought he was our friend's new boyfriend. so, there, according to Jamie's warped mind/humor, i was making it with my Gay Blonde Brother. ha!

Georgia Gators

one last night out, Southern Style, to The Crab Shack on Tybee Island.."Where the Elite Eat in Their Bare Feet". and apparently the $1 souvenir beer coozies are the hottest thing going. Bert should be able to make use of it on the boat i think. i got my Low Country Boil and deviled crab. i'm a happy girl. check out the new 'water feature' -cum Gator Lagoon. only in Georgia.

around happy town

Mr. Grant T. Nelson joined us on many nights for cocktails around town..and we were able to pop by his most recent art opening after the rehearsal dinner..conveniently located across the road. Savannah seems so small and quiet to me now. i can't imagine that folks still drive as much as they do there..we drove from my house to Vinny's for heaven's sake! that's like six blocks away. i walked home whenever possible..just to keep the blood flowing.

to combat all that Vinny's pizza (nothing like a slice and a beer for four bucks) Chris and i walked all over town, through nearly every square, and even down by the river with a stop off at the Waving Girl. out for our morning stroll, we were once waylaided by a classic Savannah parade (Veteran's Day i think?)..and couldn't get across the street to my coffee and muffin shop. now i NEED my coffee, and when i'm there, i NEED my Big American Muffin. as yet another highschool majorette strolls by, me: "In about two minutes I'm gonna be a bitch!" i got my coffee. and the muffin. whew. at least i give warnings these days.

no pictures to document, but Miss Dawn and Miss Sony and i enjoyed catching up over curries (ooh, yum) and cocktails..but not nearly enough time together! Miss Dawn and i had a just enought time for another night at Vinny's as well before she had to head off to attend a wedding of her own. on our way back through City Market, there was a set of the usual horses and carriage..and one of the horses was making a big banging noise and then water was splashing out of his trough:
me: "What IS that horse doing?"
Dawn: "I think he's kicking the bucket."
both of us and a number of bystanders--laughing out loud-ha!

that's a girl in trouble alright

Kevin took this one of Me and The Ex..um, The Boy, um..oh, i don't know. let's just call him The Custard. (more on that later too). i think my exact words when viewing this pic that night on the digital cam were "Oh shit, I am so screwed."

note: it's pretty scary when even your mom can spot the FF.

dum-dum-da-dum

we didn't quite get the timing right on this first one, but here we are just about to head off to the wedding reception for our dear friends Angel and Dan, but i remember it more fondly as The Day We Met Bob. (in deference to the couple's big day, i'll save the Bob story for later and concentrate on the nuptial bliss). there they are..Dan and Angel, the newlyweds. And there's Kevin and Chris and Roxann having a little too much fun together. and Kevin with the happy couple. and me with the happy couple. and Kevin and Rox and Angel. me and Rox. Rox and Dan The Groom. then Chris and Kevin enjoying the eats and drinks. me and Blondie (Chris). and Kevin again with Jen..that Kevin gets around. but where's Jamie? how did i not get a picture of him? he had us laughing all weekend. especially when he figured out that indeed i was NOT making it with my Blonde Gay Brother.

reception dinner: i haven't seen a plate of food piled up high like this in ages. my god! go ahead and laugh, it's no weirder than my previous shots of french cheeses.

toast: Miss Angel had invited me to give a little toast at the wedding, despite my previous toasting horror stories, and i think i pulled it off. it goes without saying, it was easy to do-it's a great story. "I'm Kate, I met Angel here in Savannah at work, though I'm a native of Wisconsin like Dan. I had the priviliege of being with them on their first date, she didn't know if it was a date-date or a friends-date and said "You're from Wisconsin, you'll understand him". We had a great time at a place down by the river, and when Dan went up to the bar to pay the tab, which was substantial (!), Angel turned and said;"So, what do you think? Is he looking for a girlfriend?!" and I said, no lie: "Honey, he is looking for a WIFE!". So, to Dan and Angel, all my love--I knew it all along!". kinda gets ya right there, doesn't it?

tails

cocktails are bad things. old friends, jetlag AND cocktails? very, very bad.
cocktails, jetlag and seeing your ex-boyfriend? priceless.

will have disco-nap to prepare for repeat performance tonight. woo-hoo!

crush continued

my favorite blog guy, Jeff Philips, has posted quite a few new shots on his photoblog. i love him. seriousy, i think i do. why is it always photographers? there was that fellow in highschool with the Brownie collection and the vespers. i've been known to develop unhealthy attachments to wedding photographers on occasion..the one at Tom's was yum. and of course, who can forget Mr. Short-Pants? i even had a pretend boyfriend once in Savannah..he was a photographer too.

if the theory of being attracted to men similiar to your father holds true, i need to meet a short, balding, near-sighted photographer who as a hobby dabbles in cardiovascular surgery. hmm.

the emac should have a breathalyzer

never, ever write an email to your exboyfriend after spending the better part of a day in a wine bar. duh. how could i make such a classic blunder? um, gee...wouldn't be me if i didn't.

thank goodness it was mostly unintelligable. though i am curious to know..what the hell was i talking about? and when did i start to use the word 'dude'?

scentiment

my sister, bless her, slept with her husbands t-shirt last night because it smells like him. awww...ack! isn't there a code of conduct when Married People spend time with Chronicly Single people?!

why do the ones that 'get you' always get away?

near Not-Atlanta, Hurricane Floyd Sept.'99
it was a most difficult thing to do (relationship-wise) but in the end, well worth it i believe-"let's be friends" is usually a death sentence, but...we had a nice long talk last night. (i was feeling a bit homesick). sad that it didn't work out back then, but that doesn't change that he's one of my favorite people to talk to...miss him i do. so, after the previous rant, seems a portion of the human race has redeemed itself. now, where's that double chocolate fudge?

and he still grows dope in his backyard. some things never change.

lonely heart

seriously, i really do need to meet a boy. that little italian number the other night (whether or not a certain someone thinks he was a geek..hey, geeks have incomes!) got me thinking...

sorry, pervs, i'm not going to tell you WHAT i'm thinking!...

they always say i have beautiful "eyes"...

;wueownnndm,fnaoieuwoi..rose..iweutiow...another bottle o rose.,jfwlkeuiu..tequilla?.jklje...an italian boy.jlkweoiu..mmoreitalianboys.lk..ajdiditrytospeakitalian?!?

aksjoiut...back to bed

same shit, different country

just got back from a big party on the Cap D'Antibes...lots of twelve year old girls in next to nothing talking to fifteen year old yachtie boys who know next to nothing.

where the hell are all my peers? (especially of the opposite sex) oh, yeah right...having jobs and babies and lives. without me.

thank god there was vodka.

crush

i love this guy. i mean really loooooove him. why is it always photographers?

lemons

i hadn't thought about my divorce in a very long time til someone i love very much (and who doesn't usually talk about these things) mentioned his...by way of referring to yet someone else's: lemons.

it does get better, i promise.

last night, i went to

last night, i went to a ....singles night. i wasn't sure what i had gotten myself into when i accepted the invite, i never pass up the chance to go out for a drink with folks my age. but a singles night?

it was fabulous! i met more eligible, dateable men in three hours than i had met in the last three years! all had jobs, lives, flats, personalities, and manners! (and the all important EU status) i should receive an email later today letting me know who is interested...oh, the possibilities!